Stains on the Soul Read online

  Fiona went back inside Alice Rose’s home and thought about the letter she’d seen the girl write. The words had been of a deeply religious nature and referred to someone named Mother Ann. Fiona turned her attention back to the flapper girl and her mother as the door opened.

  A man not much taller than Alice Rose walked in. His hair was even darker than Alice Rose’s. Fiona could tell by his dress and physical build that he worked with his hands; his eyes also betrayed the strain of a life of hard work. He, like the other man she’d seen in her dreams, had a familiar presence to him. As she looked from one to the other, she could almost see herself and Ted superimposed over the two. Fiona focused on trying to read their thoughts—the man had been invited over for dinner that evening, and Alice Rose’s father would be home soon to join them. As Fiona continued to probe the other girl’s mind, she understood that it was tradition here for the men and women to be supervised when socializing. She also could see how stifling Alice Rose found that.

  “Hello, Charles,” the older woman greeted. “How was the harvest today?”

  “Wonderful, the crops should be ready any day now.”

  “Splendid,” she replied.

  Fiona could sense the discomfort in the flapper’s demeanor as the two spoke, and she decided to focus her attention on Alice Rose, try to get a sense of what was going on. As she did, she could feel herself being pulled inside Alice Rose. She could hear Alice Rose’s thoughts, and her eyes widened in surprise. The flapper was hiding something all right!

  It hadn’t been easy, what with the watchful eye of her family on her often. Still, Alice Rose managed to stash away provisions in a secret hiding place that would help her on a journey out of the tight-knit community she’d been living in ever since her parents adopted her. She’d grown bored and restless with the rules she’d lived by for the past two decades—she wanted a different kind of life. Now that she was twenty-one, she was ready to follow her people’s tradition and make a choice: declare her independence and renounce the religion and community she’d grown up in, or stay and keep doing the same old thing day after day. She knew it wouldn’t be easy—Charles and her parents would be terribly disappointed in her—but as far as Alice Rose was concerned, there was no other choice for her to make.

  * * *

  Fiona opened her eyes and looked at the clock through hazy vision. Seeing she had another hour before her alarm went off, she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. The dream confused her—it was different from the others she’d had over the past couple of weeks.

  For once, a different woman took center-stage in her mind. Fiona struggled to understand why—these dreams were nothing like the material she was writing. Besides that, she’d been an observer this time. At the same time, she’d felt no real separation between her and the woman she’d been watching. What was her subconscious trying to say? She closed her eyes, taking short, cleansing breaths. Her attention focused inward as she asked herself a question.

  Is someone trying to tell me something? A vague sense of warmth spread through her stomach and traveled upward.

  She paused as the sensation wrapped around her like a blanket, calming her nerves. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. Okay, is this someone I know? Fiona frowned as the sensation stuck with her, only not as intense as it had been. Shouldn’t it be a more clear-cut answer? Fiona thought a moment, remembering all the books she’d read over the last few years at Amy’s insistence. Granted, some of the stuff sounded out there, but Fiona felt the truth behind a lot of it. Maybe the question was too open-ended for this kind of thing.

  Alice Rose… The name ran through her mind like an overplayed song on the radio. The name reverberated through her body, shaking her to her core.

  The soft glow of the early-morning light struggling to break through the curtains guided Fiona as she stood and pulled her laptop out of its case. Her skin prickled as she settled into her desk chair and turned the computer on. Funny—every time she didn’t care how fast it worked, the thing fired up instantly. If she needed it to work fast, it put a snail to shame. The status bar mocked her as she tapped her foot on the floor.

  Just as she was contemplating how bad it would be to just toss the computer out the window, the desktop opened and she flinched at the sudden brightness. Fiona selected the Internet icon and took a breath before typing Alice Rose Cooper into a search engine. She bit her lip as she waited, half dreading what she might find. She hoped there wouldn’t be any obits for her listed; the last thing she felt like doing was having more images like that in her mind.

  Within seconds, a list of results appeared on her screen. She scanned them, opening a few that looked promising in new tabs. She went through each one, closing a few that turned out to be nothing useful and replacing them with others on the list. Fiona was beginning to think she should give up when she reached a document on the third page. It was from one of those sites where one could trace their family tree.

  It listed an Alice Rose in Shaker Heights. Fiona gasped when she saw the address matched the one she’d noticed on the envelope in her dream. There wasn’t much else. It showed she lived at the address with her parents. She kept scanning the site, finding a few pages talking about her and her family, what her father had done for a living. The family had been well liked and one of the richest in town. The last mention of Alice Rose was about her disappearing one night.

  Fiona searched for the next couple of hours, but there was nothing to explain where Alice might have gone or what happened to her. It left Fiona feeling sad; it was like the woman had been wiped out of existence the night she left. The thought was disturbing. Had something happened to her?

  Fiona decided she’d had enough of digging into the past for the moment. She shut down the computer and put it back in its bag, willing away the worries that began to take root in her mind.

  Chapter Eight

  You did nothing wrong, you know this. You can go out with whoever you want. Fiona repeated the words like a mantra as she got ready for Sloane’s arrival. Her hands brushed away an imaginary speck of lint on her shirt as she looked around the room for her phone. Where is it?

  A buzzing sound across the room caught her attention, causing her to jump. She walked over to the desk she’d already checked five times and saw the phone’s screen flashing with a text notification. Seeing it was just a junk message, she hit the delete button and stuffed the phone into her jeans’ pocket.

  “Fiona! Sloane’s here!”

  Fiona’s eyes strayed to her bedroom door as her father’s voice carried upstairs. Taking a deep breath, she picked up her bag. “I’ll be right down!” She knew what she had to do tonight, and despite everything she’d told herself, she was worried he wouldn’t take the news she’d been out with Ted well.

  * * *

  Fifteen minutes later, Fiona was seated beside Sloane in his car. She watched the scenery go by while she tried to figure out the best way to start the conversation.

  “You okay?”

  Fiona turned her attention back to Sloane, a smile on her face. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

  “I don’t know…you just seem a little off tonight.”

  Was she that obvious? Fiona thought she’d been doing a decent job of acting casual. She considered his question a moment before deciding to get right to the point. “I’m okay. There’s something I need to tell you though.”

  “What’s that?” He glanced over at her a moment before focusing his gaze back on the road.

  “It’s nothing major. I just wanted to let you know before you heard it from someone else.” She paused a moment before continuing, “You know Jeremy’s cousin?”

  He glanced back at her and nodded. “Yeah, I heard he was staying here. What about him?” He turned his attention back to the road, signaling for a lane change before maneuvering the car to the right.

  “Well...he asked me to have lunch with him the other day.”

  Sloane pulled the car over on t
he side of the road and put it into park, his movements slightly jerky. Her heart pinged along with the pebbles scattering under the tires as the vehicle came to a stop. He sat in silence a moment before turning to look at her. “Did you?”

  The move surprised her, although she supposed it shouldn’t have. Hadn’t she been worried about this before she left? “Yes.”

  The word hung in the air between them as he sat in silence, processing what she’d said. “Oh.”

  His voice was so quiet she almost didn’t hear him. The look in his eyes made her stomach twist in knots. “You’ve gone out with other people before,” she reminded him. “We both have.”

  “I haven’t gone out with anyone but you in months. I haven’t wanted to.”

  She didn’t know a few simple words could cause so much pain. It was like he’d just stabbed her in the gut. “I’m sorry.” Fiona supposed she deserved that. Hadn’t she said the same thing to her friends the other night, minus the not-wanting-to see-anyone-else part?

  “Are you going out with him again?”

  A chill ran through her entire body as she processed the question. Would she? Did she even want to? Yes. The simple word caused a panic to rise within her while also filling her with anticipation. “I don’t know.”

  He leaned back in his seat and looked up at the roof. “What if I asked you not to?”

  “Sloane…”

  He turned to face her again. “Just hear me out a minute. I’m not stupid; I know what you were getting at before when you kept bringing up going away to school. You think we should stop seeing each other.”

  Fiona looked down, shifting in her seat as she bit her lip. She opened her mouth to speak, but her vocal cords wouldn’t cooperate. Instead, she nodded her answer.

  “Is it because of the long-distance thing?”

  “It’s part of it.”

  “Only part?” He tilted his head, studying her face.

  Fiona fidgeted under his scrutiny as she wrung her hands. She wished he didn’t know her so well as she took a deep breath and forced the words out. “I don’t know if I’m cut out for the whole relationship thing. You should know that by now. I just...don’t feel comfortable with it.”

  “Would you at least think about it? That’s all I’m asking.”

  Fiona looked up at him, staring him straight in the eye. “That’s it? You just want me to think about it?”

  He nodded. “I promise. I’ll even take you back home now, if that’s what you want.”

  Fiona considered what he’d said. She really didn’t feel like going straight home again—her sister would be questioning her all night. That was the last thing she needed at the moment. Maybe he was right, and she should give him a chance. She supposed keeping their date was a good start. “It’s okay. You don’t have to take me right home, as long as you’re okay with keeping things the way they are for now. Just while I think about things.”

  “If that’s what you really want, it’s fine with me.”

  The issue settled, Sloane shifted the car into drive and merged back onto the road. Fiona couldn’t help wondering if this was a huge mistake, but there wasn’t much she could do about it now. She’d already promised to think about it; she could hardly back out this fast. As they drove down the road, Fiona was struck with a strange sense of déjà vu. She’d never been in a situation like this before—not even close. She’d done everything possible to avoid this type of thing. Fiona almost laughed as she considered what her friends would say if they knew. They’d probably think I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have… She’d have to figure out things without their input.

  Chapter Nine

  Golden rays peeked through the treetops as Fiona ran down the sidewalk. The sound of chirping birds battled with the music coming through her headphones for her attention. She took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of the moist air and the feel of her feet pounding on the hard cement. Every step she ran helped ease the tension from her shoulders.

  As she neared the park, Fiona checked to make sure the road was clear before running across and making her way to the track. Now under the shade of trees, her breathing eased. She wiped some sweat from her forehead, delighting in the change in temperature.

  As she ran, she thought about her conversation with Sloane. Fiona had to admit she’d had a great time the other night. A smile crossed her features as she remembered him passing by the normal hangouts to take her somewhere new. He was putting forth a great effort. Despite all that, Ted hadn’t been far from her mind. It was like the harder Sloane tried, the more she found herself moving in the other direction. What she didn’t understand was why.

  Maybe I’m just a head case. Fiona suppressed a giggle as she thought of what her friends might say if they knew what was going through her mind. Amy would no doubt point out Fiona’s conflicted state should be a clear hint to move on to someone new, a thought that made her stomach knot up. Not much of a help, she mused as the track wound back to where she’d started. The dreams weren’t helping her nerves either. Each one felt so real she couldn’t help but consider the possibility they were.

  The very idea sent shivers up her spine, especially when she thought about the one in which that girl Maria burned. Even now, she could feel every bit of terror and pain the girl in her dream experienced, her skin prickled as she remembered the heat of the fire, and her wrists ached from the memory of the ropes binding her. Fiona took a deep breath, trying to clear her mind of the images. She veered off the track and slowed her pace as she approached a bench. She sat down and gazed up at the sky as a gentle breeze brushed her skin. As much as her conscious mind protested the idea, she knew there was a purpose to these dreams, and she had to figure out what they were saying, no matter how much she feared the answer.

  “Mind if I sit with you?”

  Fiona almost fell out of her seat as a voice invaded her thoughts. A pair of steady hands grabbed her arm, keeping her from an embarrassing tumble.

  “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you okay?”

  Fiona glanced up and swallowed when she saw who it was. “Ted! Hi. Sure… I was thinking about something, and I guess I just spaced.”

  “Nothing serious, I hope.” He took a seat beside her and looked into her eyes.

  She laughed off his concern. “No, just some dream I had. It’s no big deal.” Her face flushed as she realized he was still holding her arm, although his grip was much lighter than it had been a moment before. Something about his touch felt so familiar, but she couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not. Her mind was screaming at her to ask him to let go of her, but she couldn’t bring herself to voice the words.

  “Must have been one hell of a dream. You look spooked.” His eyes locked on hers, making her squirm.

  She smiled, waving off the remark with her free arm. Fiona couldn’t help the feeling he was seeing right through her, down to her very soul. The idea wasn’t exactly comforting. “That’s a writer’s mind for you. So, um…what are you doing out here this early?”

  “Just out for a run. Looks like you were too.”

  The coincidence should’ve made her suspicious, she knew that, but she was getting used to it. Fiona decided to take it as another sign instead. What that sign was pointing to, she had no idea. “Yeah, it helps clear my head. You run a lot?” Relief and disappointment filled her as he finally let go of her.

  “Yeah, I used to be on my school’s track team.”

  “That’s cool. Are you gonna try out next year?”

  He shook his head. “No. I like running, but I’m not into competing anymore. It gets old fast.”

  Fiona nodded. “I guess I see what you mean. I’m not a huge fan of crowds.”

  He glanced down at the ground a moment, and Fiona felt a tingling sensation. Something she’d said struck a nerve in him, but she couldn’t figure out what. The idea of asking him what was wrong crossed her mind, but she knew with a certainty beyond her understanding he wouldn’t, or couldn’t, an
swer that.

  An awkward silence settled between them as both got lost in their own thoughts. Ted checked his watch and then stood. “I’d better be going.” He paused a moment before adding, “I had fun the other day at lunch. Think you’d want to do it again sometime?”

  Fiona stood as well, gathering her stuff in her hands, using the time to compose herself and school her features. Despite her apprehension, she nodded. “Sure, sounds fun.”

  “Great. How’s tonight work for you? I could come by at eight.”

  Fiona hesitated before answering. Ever since he’d sat down, her mind hadn’t been functioning properly. Did she have any other plans later on? No, not unless she counted sitting around and watching movies with her sister. “Yeah, that’ll be fine.”

  He smiled. “Good. See you then.”

  “Bye.” Fiona watched him walk away. As soon as he disappeared from her line of vision, she turned and headed back to her house. She hoped Sloane wouldn’t try and call later. Fiona had a feeling that despite what he’d said, he wouldn’t be happy about this.

  Chapter Ten

  Fiona felt as though she’d been transported back to freshman year again as she got ready for Ted’s arrival. Clothes flew across the room as she searched her closet for something to wear. Nothing seemed right to her. Fiona finally settled on one of the few skirts she owned, wondering why she was so worried about how she looked. She paired the long, flowing black skirt with a light blue V-neck tee and some matching sandals. She had just finished pulling her curls into a bun when her sister’s voice sounded behind her, “Dude, since when do you make this huge a mess? You must be totally freaking out right now.”

  Fiona spun around and glared at her sibling. “I’m not freaking out. I’m perfectly calm.” She walked over to the mirror to check her reflection for what had to be the billionth time. As she brushed some imaginary lint off her shirt, she examined her hair. “Ugh…” She freed it from the clip and reached for her brush.

  Rebecca giggled. “Sure you are.”